An antidote to the corporate reality distortion fields and humblebrags.
There’s a certain magic to Annecy that has nothing to do with screenings or studio booths. It floats in the Alpine air, swirls in your espresso, and ricochets off the Old Town cobblestones. You won’t find it in the press releases. You won’t hear it in the panels. But if you lean in just right — between the clinking glasses and the rubbing egos — you’ll catch it.
These aren’t your keynote speech takeaways. They’re the moments in between: the backhanded compliments, the NDA violations, the existential musings and jaded chuckles.
And if you think you recognize yourself in any of these quotes — don’t worry. Everyone does.
“I can’t tell you who. No, sorry… I’m under an NDA. OK, it’s (major studio).”
“Everyone here is so desperate. At least at Cannes they don’t pretend to be relaxed.”
“Those people over at the MIFA ruin animation and then have the nerve to whine about it.”
“Can I tell you something that might easily be taken the wrong way?”
“Ugh… I *hate* AI art! Oh… sorry, man — nice work!”
“It’s great that they haven’t pressured me to make a decision.”
“The cool people don’t come to Annecy anymore.”
“Why would I tell them what I really think? There’s no upside.”
“I think the waitress is flirting with me. No, really.”
“Oh, no… here he comes, here he comes. Heyyyyy, man!!! Congratulations!!! Well-deserved, bro!”
“Look at all these hopeful kids. Hasn’t anybody told them?”
“I like being on the operations side of things. The control booth is safer than the floor. Yeah, *of course* I never say that!”
“Everybody here is so fake. Except you.”
“I think we can meet our KPIs *and* subvert the prevailing cultural narratives.”
“Our AI focus group simulations have been through the roof!”
“I saw his badge. He can’t help you.”
“Of course I’m selfish. Who isn’t?”
“And then a dog shook himself off on me. No, literally. By the lake.”
“I said ten percent! Not eight percent. Not nine percent. Ten percent! Today went fine, why?”
“I mean, I’m a COMPLETELY different human being now! So what if I won’t shave my mustache.”
“If you had a choice between being rich or having all your dreams come true, which would you choose?”
“I read somewhere that people with PhDs have trouble orgasming. Is that true?”
“They’ll give you 39% of 80% of 10%.”
“We’re looking for something original but proven.”
“I didn’t ghost her, I just stopped replying.”
“We changed the protagonist back to a white guy and got greenlit.”
“I don’t think of it as selling out. I think of it as selling IN.”
“It was a director-driven project up until the first test screening.”
“Yeah, I pitched the same project here last year, but that’s because everyone loved it.”
“How do you want to message your departure?”
“She’s not blacklisted. She’s just not listed.”
“Dude… NEVER say ‘metaverse’.”
“We love your voice. Can you do it in someone else’s voice?”
“So… how can I put this? He’s a dick.”
“It’s not hypocrisy, it’s honesty.”
“I never imagined the geeks would be worse bosses than the suits. Hell, I never imagined the geeks would be bosses.”
“I think he’s already out. He’s referring to his company as ‘they’ instead of ‘we’.”
“Half of the people here over 40 are already retired. They just don’t know it yet.”
“Anyone who wants to enroll in animation school should wait a year.”
“Next year I’m skipping the MIFA and hanging out at the Festival.”
Kevin is the author of AWN's Reality Bites blog, his musings on the art, technology and business of immersive media (AR, VR, MR) and AI. You can find Kevin's website at www.kevingeiger.com and he can be reached at [email protected].
